Friday, August 25, 2006

A Hard Day

I don't think any emotion in life has compared to the feeling I have had when each of my children was born. I remember when Mason was born I was completely caught off guard by the emotions I felt in the moment. It almost felt as though the veil cracked momentarily and heaven was shining through into the hospital room. That same feeling has recurred each time a child was born to us.

I was curious when we met Lucy and when we took her out of the orphanage if I would have similar emotions. When we first met Lucy it was similar yet different. I had the same sense of "so there you are and I know you" that I felt with each of our kids. But I was as fascinated with witnessing Katie's reaction as I was with my own. Taking Lucy out of the orphanage had a very unexpected emotion though.

As Katie has written in her blog, Mason had a little buddy at the orphanage named Quoc. Each day when we went to the orphanage Mason would take Quoc out of his crib and play with him. He nicknamed him Chub-Chub. He was such a sweet little boy. In a room full of children, Quoc was the one that we played with every day, other than Lucy. We held lots of children, but Quoc was who we never missed playing with.

On the day we picked up Lucy for the last time, Mason went right to Quoc's crib to get him out. I told him to leave him because we weren't staying. I could not believe the urgent look on Quoc's face while we waited to leave with Lucy. He cried and grunted and yelled. He seemed to know we were leaving and not taking him with, and he was alarmed and dismayed. I must admit that never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would some day be raising six children. Four was always my magic number. But as I stood there, I asked myself over and over if we weren't supposed to take #7 along with us. Of course it was not possible to say, "Do you mind if we take him too?" Quoc is clearly for another family and they will be blessed by his sweetness.

But I hope the feeling of urgency I saw in Quoc's face will always be with me. I think there really is an urgency about things. There are children to feed and clothe. There are sick and lonely to visit. And not all of them have a family on their way to take them home. I hope I live with a sense of urgency to pick up those who lie alone and bring a bit of happiness to their lives. Thank you Quoc, for adding to the emotion of Lucy's "Gotcha Day". In a way, there were two breaks in the veil this time and heaven shown through and touched my soul once again. I will miss that. I hope grandparents get the same privilege. Posted by Picasa

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