Tuesday, October 30, 2007

A Most Unusual Yankee

Lately I've taken up a new hobby - finding ways to contradict the American stereotype. Don't get me wrong - stereotypes exist for a reason. I'm not saying the average American isn't a bit too thick around the middle, a bit too oblivious to the rest of the world, a bit too focused on Nascar and the "World" Series, etc., etc. I just find it enjoyable to contradict these notions, leaving people with a confused look in their eye.

I don't think I'm really a most unusual Yankee, I just think it is fun to appear unusual to those looking for blatant conformity with a stereotype. The reality is that in a large group, every member of the group is inherently unique and unusual when compared to the average (at least when it comes to people). Hasn't the Democratic party taught us this lesson in spades? So when one appears unusual, the result is that people start to wonder whether the stereotype is correct or not. In Stockholm I had a few friends tell me they thought American TV, especially shows like Jerry Springer, are psychological warfare aimed at making the rest of the world underestimate us, to make them think we're a whole lot dumber than they are. I suspect they do underestimate it us, though it's possible we're every bit as dumb as they think we are.

So here are some gems I drum up in conversations these days. Hi I'm John. I'm American and:
* I speak three languages. I've worked on two or three others, but they kinda stink.
* I'd like to learn Zulu.
* I can drive a manual transmission
* I can see my shoes
* I don't watch much TV
* I don't like Bush either (this one's a trick statement - this actually makes me quite American at the moment)
* I wrote my congresswoman asking her to vote against war in Iraq
* I prefer rugby. I dislike cricket.
* I'm fine driving on the left side of the road. I just hope I don't have to "react" - not sure I'll swerve the right direction.
* I wish I was being paid in Euros or pounds instead of the American peso right now
* I have six kids (ok, this one draws looks of disbelief regardless of nationality)
* I believe in chastity before marriage (I don't bring this one up often, but it is probably the most staggering departure from American cultural images)
* I don't know your cousin that lives in New Jersey (this is actually a useful one in Latin America - most don't have a great sense of distance in the US)
* I don't really like McDonald's or KFC. I think I've eaten them more abroad than in the US. I'm pretty sure the last time I ate KFC was in Vietnam. If you had Wendy's and Taco Bell you might have me though.
* I have Muslim friends. And Jewish ones. And black ones. And Mexican ones. Even some Christian ones, but they think I'm going to hell.
* I have a passport. In fact, it's almost full (big goal of mine).
* I would like to use less gas.

I'll have to think of others. This whole thing started one night at dinner when the senior partner on my case, a German and head of our high tech practice in Europe, said to me sometime during dinner, "You're most unusual." I felt unusual. He's a huge wine drinker. His wine cellar is probably worth more than the house I just sold. I told him I don't drink. He was dumbfounded. After several seconds he replied, "But wine is drinking." In that case, I am definitely unusual.

3 comments:

Katie said...

Hey, wait! I'm a christian, and I don't think you're goin' to hell-at least if you are then I'm headed there with you. Perhaps we ought not to stereotype that particular demographic as we don't appreciate the stereotype they generally give your Christianity..

It's definitely true that you are no run of the mill American. And I love you for it...

John said...

Actually I'm pretty sure that Christians, Mormon or not, believe I'm going to hell. :)

I'm also pretty sure you're the only one reading my blog. Maybe I should just email? Or better yet, just talk since we're sitting right next to each other? :)

Gayle said...

I read your blog, John! And I agree you are unusual. I thought that very thing the day you asked for my daughter's hand in marriage and told me about jumping off your neighbor's garage on a regular basis...just for fun. (Of course you were just a child then.) Now you jump continents any chance you get and, as the years pass, take more and more people with you! I Look forward to joining you for a spaceof time on that continent and really look forward to your being back on THIS continent again! Love you, Your Mother in law